Episode IV: A Beginning of Epic Dispropotions
by FireElemental159
Summary: Not so long ago, in a galaxy WAY too far away, Ana Kahn is dragged into her favorite saga of all time, Star Wars. But when everything is suddenly real, can she survive the one thing she wished she could live in? Rated T for possible violence and some romance. I only own Ana and Eva Kahn, the rest belong to George Lucas. ON HIATUS, but other stories are coming!
1. Kicking Sand and Changing Names

Chapter 1: Kicking Sand and Changing Names

"Earth to Ana. Hello, anyone in there?" Eva playfully tapped on my head, causing me to ninja chop up into the air.

"Ahh, what? I'm trying to think if you don't mind." I stood up, adjusting my _Star Wars _costume. It was Halloween, and Eva and I were about to leave for the party hosted by the most popular girl in school.

"Thinking 'bout what? Now, Miss Ana Kahn, go get your lightsaber. We're going to be late." I rolled my eyes, but still got up and sarcastically looked around.

"Well, where did I put it? Or should I say where did _you_ put it, Miss Eva Kahn?"

"Chill. It's up in your room. Bedside table." I ran up the stairs, sprinting into my mess of a room. There, just as Eva said, was my lightsaber. I grabbed it, but suddenly the whole world went black.

"Hey, wake up." There's a light shaking on my shoulders. The sun goes through my eyes, heat searing my skin. _Wait… sun?_

I shoot up, ending just inches from a boy around my age. His wide blue eyes meet mine. The clothes seemed familiar, as well as the shaggy mop of blond hair. "Oh God!"

He backs up instantly, me scrambling up. He tentatively coughs. "Sorry. Are you ok?" I nod, allowing him to continue. "Luke Skywalker."

"Excuse me… Skywalker? As in _Star Wars_? I knew Eva was right when she said… oh my God. I'm in… it's just like that one fanfic I read. This is…" I look at him, clearly seeing the confusion on his face. "You don't know what I'm talking about. Do you?"

"No." There's an apparent sense of innocence in his sky blue eyes. Like something you'd see in a young boy.

"Well, um… you know what never mind. I must've hit my head or something and I mixed you up with someone else. A friend of mine. Luke Starkiller, honest mistake, really."

He nods, and I know he's debating on whether it was a good idea to help me or not. "Well…"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Ana Kahn. Part regular farm girl, part butt-kicking person of awesomeness." I put my hand out, but see the sincerity in Luke's face when he takes it. "Oh, kid, that was a joke."

He smiles sheepishly, and for some reason I found that quite adorable. He had to be the same age as I am, but he just seems so young. "Well, maybe you can help us."

I stop. " 'Us'?" Just off from where we're standing is a small speeder, with two droids walking towards us. One's the size of a regular man, and a tarnished gold. The other was almost the shape of a trashcan, but whirled around on its three legs.

The gold one spoke in the voice of a British butler. "Good day. I am See Threepio, human-cyborg relations and this is my acquaintance Artoo Detoo." Artoo whistled in response. "Now no more of this Obi-Wan Kenobi business. Master Luke is your rightful owner now."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi?" I decide to just accept this and go along for the ride. A chance to be in my favorite movie saga. Oh yeah.

Luke turns. "Do you know him? Apparently, Artoo once belonged to him. We're trying to find him. There was a message on his hard drive…" His eyes go misty. Princess Leia's message of course. "Anyway, I have a friend, Ben Kenobi, and…"

"You think they're related. And yes, I used to know an Obi-Wan Kenobi, but I don't think he'd remember me. It was only a brief conversation."

He smiles like a little kid, emotion flowing into his face. "Great! Well… Artoo what is it?" Artoo whirls, spinning in an awkward circle.

Luke says to the little droid, "What's wrong with him now?"

Threepio creaks over. "He says there are several creatures approaching from the southeast."

I look up to Luke. "Sand people?"

"Or worst. Let's go have a look." We climb up to the top of the rock ledge, Threepio struggling to keep up. Luke pulls a pair of high-tech binoculars from what seems like thin air.

"Where did you… nope, not asking that. I'm going to regret the answer." From behind the binoculars I can hear a small chuckle from Luke. "Well, anything?" I scoot closer to him, trying to make out a smug in the distance.

"There are two Banthas down there, but I don't… no it's sand people alright. I can see one of them now."

Suddenly, just on cue, one of the sand people is right up on us, wielding his wicked weapon, making those strange screeching noises. I hear Threepio fly back, and Luke grab the rifle on his belt, while I find a blaster on the new thigh holster of my outfit. I fire it, but miss by an inch, doing only the job of enraging it more. There's a thwack on the back of my head, sending me down, but not unconscious.

They drag us down, the gritty sand digging into my back. I turn my head, seeing Luke knocked-out, being dragged the same way I am. I also see Artoo hiding in the enclave of a rock formation. If anything, he's one smart little droid. They drop us by the speeder, which they begin to ransack. I crawl over to Luke, inspecting him for injuries.

He moans when I find a small bump on his head. My hand then moves to the blaster, when a screech rings out, sending the sand people running. I raise the gun, wary of what could cause them to flee. A form moves with an aged swiftness, revealing to be a hooded old man.

He smiles slightly at the sight of the gun. "There's no need to point that blaster at me, young lady." I notice a quick motion of his hand.

"You sure 'bout that? Using Jedi mind tricks might tick somebody off." Yet, I put it back in the holster. "Hello, Obi-Wan."

He takes the hood off. "You're the one they sent?" There was a total certainty in his voice, as if he was only asking the question to see if I knew the answer.

"Considering I only know this stuff from movies… yeah, you could say that."

He moves towards Luke. "We'll talk when you and the boy are safe. I wish to know how you came to be here young one."

There's a loud whistling and I see Artoo rocking back and forth. "Yeah, come here." I beckon him over with my arm. "Come on, you little droid." Artoo slowly wheels over, seemingly muttering to himself in the whistling manner.

"Ben? Ben Kenobi? Boy, am I glad to see you!"


	2. Hokey Religions and Voodoo Weapons

Chapter 2: Hokey Religions and Voodoo Weapons

Obi talks to Luke about his encounter, while I lag behind with Artoo, investigating what my outfit encompassed. Knee-high black boots that were really quite comfortable, the leather forming to my feet. Brown pants and undershirt, a black lace-up shirt with pirate sleeves, fingerless gloves, and a fabric belt that held the holster that clasped my upper thigh. So, nothing that strange for _Star Wars_.

I come over just as the conversation is wrapping up. Luke says enthusiastically, "So you know him?"

"Well, of course I know him. He's me! But I haven't gone by Obi-Wan in a long time… a long time. Long before you were born."

"Then the droid belongs to you." I nod, but Obi-Wan doesn't seem so sure.

"I don't seem to remember ever owning a droid. Interesting…" He examines the overhanging cliffs. "We'd better get indoors. Sand people are easily startled and will return in greater numbers."

Obi begins to walk when Luke and I realize the same thing. "Threepio!" We run to the bottom of the canyon Threepio must've fell off of. There he was, one arm broken off, dented and covered in sand.

Luke shakes him a little and flips a switch a few times before the lights in the droid's eyes come to life. I grab the arm and walk over. Threepio raises his good arm to his head. "Where am I? Oh, I must've taken a bad step."

Muttering under my breath I say, "If falling off a cliff is a 'bad step', then yes." Luke looks at me with a mixture of wonder and annoyance. Then confusion.

"Ana your nose…"

"What about it?" I feel around, until I find a dribble of wet on my lip. A freaking bloody-nose, you've got to be kidding me. "Crap. I'm fine. What wrong now, Threepio?"

"I don't think I can make it. You go on, Miss Ana, Master Luke. There's no sense in risking yourselves on my account. I'm done for."

Luke and I each grab a side and right Threepio. "Hey, no talking like that, buddy. That's right Artoo," I turn to the droid who's beeping and nudging against my leg. "He's just not the adventuring type." Obi then looks around.

"We must get moving. Quickly." We go to the speeder, placing Threepio inside in back with Artoo and Obi-Wan. I sit in the passenger seat, next to Luke. We take off, the wind whipping my long hair around my face.

TIME PASS  
"Woah, swanky place you got here." It was definitely not like the movie. This was more like a grand sultan's palace in a way.

"I believe I should take that as a compliment." Obi leads us to the door, looking more like Dumbledore on summer vacation, then an old Jedi Knight.

I try to flatten out my hair, which has gone into a wild mess from the speeder ride. "Is that a scar?" I turn, eyes wide, to face Luke, pushing my hair down to cover the mark on my cheek.

"I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout, kid. I forgot my blaster in the speeder. Go on without me." I run back to the speeder, rummaging until I feel the blaster under the seat. Now all I can see is Luke's face when he saw that stupid scar. I don't need pity, especially from a little farm boy, even if he's… ugh shut it. I put the blaster into the holster, slamming my fist on the side of the speeder. If only Eva was here, then I could actually take out my feeling about all this.

I sigh, knowing I just have to deal with it a little longer, until I can talk to Obi-Wan about it. I walk back to the house, pushing the door open. There's a loud hum coming from the one room, and I find Luke with a blue lightsaber, better than anything seen in the movies. Luke smiles slightly at the sight of me, but quickly continues his conversation with Obi-Wan.

"The Force?"

Obi nods. "It's what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things."

I finish the line off. "It surrounds us and penetrates us, binding the galaxy together." Obi looks at me, the first time he showed actual confusion. I shrug, crossing my arms.

Artoo beeps, his top whirling around. Obi-Wan goes over to him. "Now let's see if we can figure out what you are, my little friend. And perhaps where you come from…"

Luke stops his work. "There was a message on there."

I watch as Princess Leia's message comes through Artoo, her image grainy and distorted. Yet, Luke freezes, staring at Leia with a sense of longing. Great, the incest begins now.

"General Kenobi, years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father's request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I'm afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this R2 unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour.

Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope." Then she's gone. Well, then.

"You two must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with me to Alderaan." I snort slightly, causing Obi to turn.

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not using one of those lightsabers. I'm a blaster kind of girl, thank you very much."

Luke nods. "I've got to get home. It's bad enough taking a girl I just met home," I raise my eyebrows, "but I'm in for it as is. I dislike the Empire as much as anyone, but there's nothing I can do about it. And besides, it's such a long way away…" I cut him off.

"That's your uncle talking, Luke. I mean, come on, just because I said I didn't want a Force lesson, doesn't mean I don't want to go. It a chance for adventure, hell, maybe you can save the whole blasted galaxy. You don't know anything until you try it. It's your life, so do with it what you want." I stand him up, shaking his shoulders.

"I… I can take you as far as Achorhead. Then you can take a transport to Mos Eisley or wherever you're going."

Obi's ducks his head. "Whatever you think is right."

I move to the door. "Well, what're we waiting for? Let's head off, or Luke might get into worse trouble." Artoo whistles as I stalk off to the speeder, Luke trailing behind. I help Artoo into the speeder, and then hoist myself into the seat, unmoving even when the others come in. I put my hair into a ponytail, keeping it contained.

"So there is a scar." I jump at the sound of Luke's voice.

"What?" I turn, seeing Luke, but also the remains of a huge Sandcrawler. "What the hell is that?"


	3. Don't Fly Solo

Chapter 3: Don't Fly Solo

"It looks like Sand people. Look here, Gaffi sticks, Bantha tracks." Luke crouches to the ground next to me. Dead Jawas are scattered everywhere, proving the attack."I've just never heard them hitting something this big before."

"It's not Sand people. The tracks should be in a row, they're side by side. And the blast points are…" I stop.

"What, Ana?"

"It had to be Imperial troops. Luke… I," He cuts me off, fear setting into his child-like eyes.

"But that means they traced the two droids. And that would lead them home!" He runs to the speeder, me following in suit.

"Luke!" He doesn't hear me, or at least chooses not to listen to me. He rides off on his speeder, with me screaming his name. I fall, putting my head in my hands when I sit. Obi-Wan kneels next to me.

"It's all my fault. If I hadn't told the kid… I could've just told him it was Sand people." I hit myself with the palm of my hand. Obi shakes his head.

"He would've found out eventually. Anna…"

"Ana. Different sounds. One N." I smile, thinking of how many times I had to explain that. "And I know he would've, but I just… I didn't want to be the one that told him. I mean, he's just so young on the inside, like a little kid. I don't wanna' hurt him."

"Well, Ana, don't hurt yourself for speaking the truth. Now, for more of the truth." I turn, my eyes wet.

"I don't know how I can here. I was dressing up for a party and when I touched a prop for my costume I was suddenly in the desert on Tattooine. I know your story, what happens because in my world, my _galaxy_, everyone is just a bunch of made-up characters in movies. I know Darth Vader is Luke's father, and anything else you can probably think of." I sigh heavily. "Does that answer any question you were going to ask?"

He nods slowly, and I stand. "We should…" I motion to the Jawas. Then, with the help of the droids, we pile them up setting them on fire to give them a small funeral. After the last Jawa is placed on the pile by Threepio, the speeder returns. What Luke saw is apparent on his face. I stop just in front of him, pulling him into a hug. He puts his head on my shoulder, arms hanging limp at my waist.

He pulls away first, facing Obi-Wan. "I'll go with you to Alderaan. There's nothing left for me here. I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi."

TIME PASS

We pull into Mos Eisley, a cluttered spot full of odd shop and cruddy bars. Zooming through the streets, we are stopped by Stormtroopers, making it impossible to move without knocking them over. One of them approaches us. "How long have you had these droids?"

Luke lies through his teeth, "About three or four seasons."

I join in. "They're for sale if you know anybody."

The Trooper doesn't seem convinced. "Let me see your identification." As Luke fumbles to find his ID, Obi already began to use some Jedi mind-trick.

"You don't need to see his identification."

The Trooper falls under the spell. "We don't need to see his identification."

"These are not the droids you're looking for."

"These are not the droids we're looking for."

"He can go about his business."

"You can go about your business."

"Move along."

"Move along. Move along." The Trooper ushers us along, and we're free.

Luke stops the speeder outside a rundown cantina, turning to Obi. "That was great!" I nod, entranced by what the Force could really do. "I thought we were dead. I still can't see how we got past those Troopers." But Obi wasn't really pay attention. A small Jawa came up, messing with the speeder. I jump out, shooing him off.

He kicks me in the shin, but does run. I stumble back, Luke catching my hand. He rights me, ending very close together. We freeze, and I can feel a distinct heat rising into my cheeks. I take a step back, embarrassed. "So, kid, why don't we catch up with Ben?"

"In a second. Why do you call me 'kid' all the time? I'm your age."

"Just how old are you, exactly?"

"Well, nineteen. And you look seventeen. Am I close?"

I roll my eyes. "I'm twenty one, _kid._ So deal with it." We walk into the cantina in silence, the droids following behind us. Obi-Wan's sitting at the bar with a huge ape-bear thing. Chewbacca.

"We don't serve their kind here." The bartender points to Threepio and Artoo.

At the same time, Luke and I say, "What?"

"Your droids. They'll have to wait outside, we don't want them here." I nod.

Luke turns to Threepio, "Look, why don't you two go wait by the speeder. We don't want trouble."

Threepio tries to nod, but ends up almost bowing, "I heartily agree with you, sir." Then he and Artoo clank out of the bar, leaving everyone to go back to their business. We walk off to Obi-Wan, me hanging a few feet back. I look around, eyes landing on two creatures confronting Luke. My hand goes to my blaster, just in case.

Suddenly, I low voice is right next to my ear. "Now, why does a pretty thing like you, need a blaster like that?" I spin, finding the speaker very close, a man. His hazel eyes are above mine, giving me an once-over. I back up, raising an eyebrow. He wears a cocky grin and I just glare at him. A bang sounds from behind spinning me around. Luke is on the ground, with a monstrous humanoid holding a blaster.

Just as I have the time to bring up my own blaster, Obi-Wan reveals his blue lightsaber, creating a low hum of energy, and moves with lightning swiftness. In a single swipe, the two aliens that had been pursuing Luke were on the ground. One with a huge gash hidden by its clothes, the other with his blaster arm severed from him. I hesitantly put my blaster back into the holster and rush to Luke, hoisting him up to his feet. "Are you ok, kid?"

He nods. "Yes, I…" He then stops, when Cocky Pants is in front of us. I can feel the glare coming on, when he opens his mouth.

"Shoulda known you'd go for the innocent ones, sweetheart." He smiles again, but I just get red.

"Excuse me?" I let go of Luke's wrist. "Why you stuck-up, son of a…"

"Han Solo?" Obi-Wan walks up behind me, cutting off my rant. Han nods, and idiocy rushes into my mind. _Duh!_ "Chewbacca suggested we talk to you."

Han smiles. "Well, darling, shall we?" He motions to the table, then holds his arm out.

"Luke, I think someone has a crush on ya. I'll be over with the Wookiee if you need me." I turn and walk over to Chewbacca, feeling the three men's eyes on me. Chewbacca growls a greeting, and I'm taken back a second. I could understand him.

"Hey, is your friend always that… annoying?" He warbles yes and I nod. Luke calls to me and Chewie and I walk over, me sliding in next to Luke.

Chewie explains our predicament to Han, who is swishing a drink around in a glass. "So, I'm the captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie tells me you're looking for passage to the Alderaan system."

Obi nods, obviously still offended by my slight outburst at Han. "Yes, indeed. If it is a fast ship."

Han puts the drink down, leaning over the table to stare at Obi-Wan. "Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?"

Obi-Wan raises his eyebrows. "Should I have?"

"It's the ship that made the Kessel run in less than twelve parsecs." I roll my eyes at his misinformation. "I've outrun Imperial starships, not the local bulk-cruisers, mind you. I'm talkin' about the big Corellian ships now. She's fast enough for you, old man. What's the cargo?" For the second time, Han looks me up and down, while I try to ignore his gaze when it reached my face.

"Myself, the two younglings, two droids, and…" He looks sternly at Han, "no questions asked."

"What, the girl get you into some kinda local trouble?"

I open my mouth to call him out, along with some names that my mom would never want said in her household, when Obi raises a hand to stop me. "Let's just say we don't want any… Imperial entanglements."

Han looks smug as he finishes off his drink. "Well, that's the trick, isn't it? And it'll cost ya something extra. Ten thousand." He winks at me slightly before finishing. "All in advance."

A snarky laugh escapes me. "You literally are insane, aren't ya, flyboy. We could buy our own shittin' ship for that!"

"Yeah, but who's going to fly it, sweetheart?" This make Luke huff next to me, and reminding me that Han wasn't only pissing me off.

Luke looks straight at Han. "I not such a bad pilot myself! Ben, we don't have to sit here and listen to…" He begins to rise, but Ben and I sit him back down. He meets my eyes, and I can see that he's almost at the end of his rope.

Obi sighs and turns back to Han. "We can pay you two thousand now and fifteen once we're at Alderaan."

Han's eyebrows shoot up in shock. "Seventeen?" A grin forms on his face as he leans back in success. I hold back a remark, when Han continues. "Ok, then. You've got yourself a ship. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. Docking bay ninety-four."


End file.
